4 things in ONE day!

I had to jot down notes of the four crackheaded things he did today so I wouldn't forget anything by the time I got home to post this. It's either sad because he did so many things in one day, or sad that my brain has withered to the point where I can't remember four things...

1. This was Charles' story but I feel that must tell it because it illustrates perfectly all that is the Intern. This morning on the train ride to work, Charles fell asleep, only to be jolted awake by someone poking him repeatedly on the arm. When he opened his eyes he also saw a hand waving inches from his face. Guess who??
   
   
2. So as Charles is in my office telling about the train ride incident, I glance up and see the intern standing outside my office window and peering in. He comes in and Charles compliments him on the tie he is wearing. Intern then says that his girlfriend gave it to him, therefore he "tries to wear it almost every day."
   
   What??
   
   
3. He told us today that he is thinking of going into sales.
   
   My inside voice: "Given your complete lack of social skills, perhaps you should move further AWAY from the customer than what marketing would entail, rather than CLOSER to them in sales."
   
   But I couldn't think of a good way to say that, so out loud I said: "Oh that's interesting. How did that come about? Did you talk to some of the people in that department?"
   
   Intern: "No, I just heard that sales makes lots of money."
   
   Me: "Um... well, most of what they make is not guaranteed since it's commission-based. The really good ones can do pretty well though.
   
   Charles (being wonderfully evil as always): "You know, you really should go talk to [our boss] about this. Kasey came from sales."
   
   Me: "Ooh, yes! Ask lots of questions!"
   (It's always fun to drag other people into the madness!)
   
   Intern: "Really? Did Kasey make lots of money?"
   
   Charles: "Uh, dude, ask questions, but don't ask that. Don't ever ask anyone that."
   
   Intern: "So what do you think, like $200,000?"
   
   
4. Later in the day, around 4pm, he stops back over. He looks all flustered, and then says,
   "I need your advice on how to stay awake in the middle of the day when you're really tired."
   
   OK. As crackedhead as both the question and the manner in which he asked are, he actually asked that exact same question in that exact way his first week here this summer!
   
   Me: "You asked me that when you first started. Same answer as before: drink some coffee, take a walk, go outside for some fresh air."
   
   Intern: "It's not working."
   
   Me: "I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe you should go to bed earlier since you seem to be constantly tired. Why don't you just go home for the day since it's already 4 pm?"
   
   Intern: "No, no. I need to work hard so I can get a good recommendation from Charles."
   
   Me: "Okaaay..."
   *slowly backing away*